Bringing up estate planning with your parents can feel a bit awkward. This sensitive conversation often comes with a lot of emotional baggage and can touch on delicate topics like death and inheritance. Many often worry about coming off as greedy or ill-intentioned, but you’re not alone. Over half of Americans expect to receive some inheritance from their parents. However, discussing these matters is crucial to ensure assets are respectfully distributed among loved ones and your parent’s wishes are fulfilled. So, how do you talk to your parents about this tricky topic with ease?
Start the Conversation
First things first, approach the conversation with compassion. Make it clear that your primary concern is to ensure their wishes are carried out, not about how much you might be inheriting. Avoid going into the conversation with the intention of finding out what you might get, as the amount can change throughout your parents’ lifetime. Instead, frame the questions around wanting to understand their plans. Bringing up some estate planning resources might help ease into the topic.
Another great way to start the conversation is to share that you have worked on your own estate plan. Explain that you want to leave clear instructions for your loved ones. This will naturally lead into the topic of their own affairs and make it feel more like a shared conversation rather than an interrogation.
Find the Right Time
Choosing the right moment to bring up this conversation is key. It is suggested that the best time to bring up this topic is when the whole family is gathered—like during the holidays or a birthday celebration. Having everyone present will ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Be mindful of when you talk to your parents about their estate plan. Avoid the conversation during a big change in the economy, as this may seem like you are concerned about your portion of the inheritance.
Let It Naturally Flow
Avoid pre-planning the conversation or drafting a script. Let the conversation happen naturally when your parents are in a comfortable state. This will reduce any stress or pressure and let them discuss the topic in more detail.
Discuss Specifics
Once you’ve opened the topic, it’s important to understand if they have crucial legal documents like a will, a power of attorney, a living will, or a healthcare directive. This is where you can lend a helping hand and ensure everything is in order.
Gain Access
Next, find out where they keep these essential documents. Ensure you know how to access them—whether it’s a key, a safe, or a PIN. It’s also a good idea to gather contact information for their accountants, insurance agents, or any other professionals involved.
Talk Through Funeral Arrangements
Last but not least, while it might be the toughest subject, it’s important to talk to your parents about their wishes for their funeral. Find out whether they want a big ceremony, ashes scattered, or something else entirely. Knowing their preferences will help celebrate their life and remember their legacy.
Contact Deliberato Law Center
If you have any questions about setting up an estate plan, we’re here to help. The estate planning attorneys at the Deliberato Law Center have many decades of experience assisting our clients in securing their legacies. To find out more, fill out the form below.
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